About Domestic Violence

What is Domestic Violence, exactly?

Domestic Violence is a pattern of abusive behaviors—whether physical, verbal, psychological, sexual, financial, or something else—used by one person to exert power and control over someone else.
The perpetrator of abuse can be a spouse, a partner, an ex, a parent, a step-parent, or another family member. They can be any gender.
Domestic abuse can also occur in the context of a caretaking relationship, such as a home care worker abusing the person they’re meant to take care of, or a sick or elderly person experiencing abuse from someone who’s supposed to care for them.

Am I in an abusive relationship?

You may be in an abusive relationship with someone
if they engage in any of these patterns of behavior:

  • Physically pushes, hits, strangles, or kicks you or those you love
  • Threatens you, your children, your pets, or others who matter to you
  • Humiliates you, calls you names, or tears you down in other ways
  • Sulks, gets angry, or is excessively jealous when you have normal, friendly relationships with others
  • Physically forces sexual contact on you
  • Psychologically pressures you with behaviors such as yelling, tantrums, guilting you, putting you down, giving you the silent treatment, smashing things, or engaging in other forms of abuse if you don’t consent to their demands
  • Pressures you or physically keeps you from going where you want or need to go, such as to visit family, to go to work, or to go to the doctor
  • Smashes or breaks things, especially items meaningful to you
  • Doesn’t allow you to have any control of household finances, provides an “allowance,” doesn’t permit you to work, or tries to get you fired
  • Keeps you from connecting with your family and friends such as by preventing you from using phone or car; pressuring you not to visit or speak with them; or even poisoning your relationship with them Uses the children as a way to hurt you, such as making the child feel guilty for loving you, refusing to provide the child for visitation, or encouraging the child to reject you
  • Blames you and/or tries to convince you that their choice to abuse you is your fault
  • Hurts you in other ways not listed here.

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